


Laisser dire, c’est confirmer

by xslytherclawx



Series: ô saisons, ô châteaux (ravenclaw au) [12]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Closeted Character, Friendship, Gay Male Character, Jewish Character, Jewish Holidays, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-10 05:36:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19900672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xslytherclawx/pseuds/xslytherclawx
Summary: There are a lot of things that don't quite add up over spring holidays, beginning with Regulus's insistence that he doesn't mind that Max's parents think they're shagging. But Max is sure it's just his imagination, really. Isaac will definitely talk some sense into him.





	Laisser dire, c’est confirmer

**Author's Note:**

>   
> _Je ne veux surtout pas qu’on sache que je m’intéresse à lui. Car je ne veux pas surtout pas qu’on se demande_ pour quelle raison _je m’interesserais à lui._  
>  _Parce que se poser cette question ne ferait qu’alimenter la rumeur qui court à mon sujet. On prétend que je « préfère les garçons ». On constate que j’ai des gestes de fille parfois. … Et j’aime les livres, je lis beaucoup, on me voit souvent sortant de la bibliothèque du lycée, un roman entre les mains. Et on ne me connaît aucune petite amie. Cela suffit pour bâtir une réputation. J’ajoute que l’insulte fuse régulièrement … et je m’emploie à l’ignorer absolument, à ne jamais y répondre, à manifester en retour la plus parfaite indifférence, comme si je n’avais pas entendu (comme s’il était possible que je n’entende pas !). Ce que aggrave mon cas: un hétérosexuel pur et dur ne laisserait jamais dire ce genre de choses, il démentirait avec véhémence, il casserait la gueule à l’émetteur de l’insulte. Laisser dire, c’est confirmer._
> 
> _Évidement, je « préfère les garçons »._  
>  _Mais je ne suis pas encore capable de prononcer cette phrase._  
>  \- Philippe Besson, _« Arrête avec tes mensonges »_ , 2017
> 
> * * *
> 
> I completely forgot to post this mid-week, so the next chapter of _La Plus parfaite indifférence _will be up next week!  
>  This follows the events of chapter 12 of _La Plus parfaite indifférence _almost immediately.____

Max wrote the note in Yiddish, because that way there was a smaller chance of Reg finding out what it said.

> _ Isaac - _
> 
> _ Help! I’m panicking and I need you to tell me I’m being ridiculous! I’ll come over tomorrow to explain, and then you can come over to mine and act like it was planned! _
> 
> _ I’m sure I’m being ridiculous but – I’ll explain why I can’t ask Mum or Dad when I see you. _
> 
> _ Max _

He wrote Isaac’s name and address in English, told the owl where to go, and sent it off. Now he had to just sleep with Reg in his bed, when – well, things had been  _ strange. _

First, Reg hadn’t agreed with him when Max had said he was straight – which would have been a minor thing, really, if he hadn’t gone on to say that he didn’t fancy any girls. At the time, Max had thought he’d just meant that he didn’t fancy anyone at the moment, but… with everything else, he was suspicious.

He’d said he hadn’t minded that Max’s parents thought they were together – thought they were  _ shagging, _ even! And then he’d calmly let Gina paint his nails a loud purple without so much as batting an eyelash – and he’d even said outright that he didn’t consider himself masculine. And then – he’d let Gina do his makeup, and hadn’t washed it off until after she’d left.

When Max had asked why he hadn’t done it earlier, Reg had shrugged and said that he hadn’t wanted to hurt her feelings.

He was sure that this was just his overactive imagination. Reg was a good person, and he was kind and considerate, so naturally he wouldn’t want to hurt a little girl’s feelings, and he really  _ wasn’t _ very masculine (more masculine than any man in Max’s family, to be sure, but that wasn’t a high bar). And they were best friends, so if someone  _ were _ to assume Reg was in a relationship with another boy, he’d obviously mind less if that boy were Max, as opposed to – James Potter, or someone.

This would all be easier if Max weren’t madly in love with him. He wasn’t sure why he’d insisted on Reg sleeping in the same room, because all it had done was remind him that Reg was  _ straight _ and thus would never be interested in Max like that, no matter how cute he looked while he slept, or how adorable Max found his snoring. (And what did it say about how far gone Max was that he found Reg’s  _ snoring _ endearing?)

Reg chose that moment to step out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel. This was a new development, as well. For years, Reg had dressed in the bathroom after showers, and the closest Max had seen him to naked (outside of the maybe three times they’d ended up in the bathroom at the same time in first and second year) was in his boxers – and even then, it wasn’t a common sight.

He’d meant it when he’d said that he didn’t think he was ready to have sex, but that didn’t mean that Reg walking into his room wearing nothing but a towel wasn’t a unique form of torture.

“Isaac might come over tomorrow,” Max said, “for the second night seder.”

“Okay,” Reg said. And then – this was the remarkable thing – he pulled a pair of boxers out of his trunk, dropped his towel, and changed right then and there. Right in front of Max. “It’ll be good to see him.”

Max did his very best not to stare, but it was difficult when he was madly in love with Reg, and when Reg was so unbelievably fit – his stomach was flat and toned and – Max forced himself to focus on  _ anything _ else. Where had Thalia wandered off to?

* * *

Max’s bed was more than big enough for the two of them to lay side by side without touching, and as Max talked (about what, he wasn’t even sure), he felt Reg lace his fingers through his. Was he trying to torture him? Reg’s fingers were long and thin, and the hand he held Max’s own with was callused from years of flying, but it felt warm and solid and  _ perfect. _ It felt, somehow, more intimate than anything they’d done before, which was ridiculous, because they’d already held hands dozens of times.

He heard a tapping at the window, and nearly jumped out of bed to let the owl in.

It was Isaac’s brother’s owl, and Max gave it a treat as he read the note.

> _ Max – _
> 
> _ Do I even want to ask? Come over tomorrow between ten and noon – Mum says she has treats for you and Reg anyway. _
> 
> _ Isaac _
> 
> _ P.S. Mum says I can stay for your seder. _

“Isaac’s coming over tomorrow,” Max said, as he scribbled a confirmation and gave it to David’s owl. “I’ve got to stop by first, though, because his Mum wants to – give us some treats, and he can’t carry them all. That’s a good sign – you know as well as I do that Mrs. Goldstein makes the most delicious treats.”

“I thought your mum made the most delicious treats?”

“All Jewish mothers make delicious food, Reg,” Max said. “It’s, like, a law.”

* * *

He Flooed to the Goldsteins’ house at exactly half past eleven in the morning. It was later than Isaac surely expected him, but he’d come right out of bed. And besides – they were all Jewish, and everyone knew Jewish time was relative.

Isaac was sitting in the living room, reading a book, when Max came in.

“Took you long enough.”

“Can we go to your room?” Max asked. “Is David here?”

“David’s never here,” Isaac said. “He’s at his girlfriend’s.”

So Max dragged Isaac up to his room and flopped down on Isaac’s bed. “I’m having a  _ crisis.” _

“A Reg-related crisis?”

“What other kind is there?”

Isaac rolled his eyes and sat down next to him. “What happened?”

“I – I think he might not be straight.”

“Is that all?” Isaac asked. “I’ve been telling you he’s not straight since second year.”

“Isaac, I’m  _ serious,” _ Max said. “Jacob and Shira came over with the kids yesterday, and Reg let Gina paint his nails and  _ do his makeup _ and he got all – surprised when I said I’d thought he was masculine, and it was  _ so _ adorable the way he just let her do whatever she wanted, like you should have seen the look on his face, and he’s my best friend, Isaac, if he’s not – if he’s not straight…”

“He’s  _ not _ straight,” Isaac said.

“Mum and Dad thought we were – together,” Max said. He ran his fingers through his hair. “Dad asked if we were  _ shagging, _ and Reg said he  _ didn’t mind _ that they thought that! Didn’t mind that my parents thought we were shagging!”

“I mean,” Isaac said, “They know  _ you’re _ gay, and it’s  _ obvious _ that Reg is gay, too, and knowing you, you probably insisted that he sleep in your room, in your bed with you.”

“That doesn’t mean we’re  _ shagging!” _ Max said. “And he’s – he’s not gay!”

“He clearly is gay, mate. You’ve seen him get all flustered around Rosier – and more times than I have.”

“That’s – that’s different,” Max said, because it had to be. “Rosier, he just – he knows how to get to Reg in a way that most people don’t.”

“A gay way,” Isaac said. “Reg  _ clearly _ fancies him, and I know that’s not what you want to hear, but honestly, I think he fancies you, too. Which can’t be easy for him to deal with.”

“Isaac, you’re supposed to tell me that I’m just being stupid.”

“Which I do when you’re being stupid,” Isaac said. “But that’s not what’s happening here. Who even – who told you Reg was straight, anyway? Because you’ve got to be the only one who thinks that.”

“Isaac, if he’s  _ gay _ then – then I might have a  _ chance _ and that’s terrifying.”

“He  _ is _ gay, and he  _ clearly _ fancies you  _ and _ Rosier both.”

“He doesn’t – he doesn’t fancy me,” Max said. He couldn’t.

“Have you told him how you feel?” Isaac asked.

“Why would I do that?” Max asked. “He’s straight. I told him – he asked if I fancied anyone, and he really pressed, so I said – I fancied a straight bloke, which I do, because he’s straight.”

“He asked if you fancied anyone because he was  _ hoping _ that you’d admit to fancying him, because he fancies you,” Isaac said. “God, Max, the whole school knows. Honestly, if it were anyone  _ but _ Reg – or even if you just hadn’t fancied him since you first laid eyes on him – you’d have known he was gay immediately. It didn’t even take  _ me _ long, and I really  _ am _ straight.”

“Isaac, stop.”

Isaac patted his back a bit awkwardly. “You know how his family is. You  _ know _ about that letter they sent him. That’s why he hasn’t told you. Because telling you would be – saying it out loud, and admitting that his parents – well, who knows what they’d do to him? And I think – when he tells you, and it is  _ when, _ the best thing to do, as much as you love him and as many times as you’ve dreamed about snogging him and being his boyfriend, he’s – he’s going to need you as a friend.  _ Especially _ since you’re gay, too. So you need to be there for him, and wait for him to be ready for a relationship. But I really think – Max, it’s obvious he’s as mad for you as you are for him.”

Max groaned and buried his face in Isaac’s pillow. Isaac was making too much sense, and it all checked out with everything Max knew about Reg. “If he’s gay, his parents  _ will _ disown him.”

“Exactly,” Isaac said. “He’s going to need you, so it’s best if you process – what you need to process now. If he’s over there telling your family he doesn’t mind that they thought you were together, or letting your niece paint his nails and put makeup on him – I don’t think he’s terribly far from actually  _ telling _ someone. 

“And it might be you, or it might be his brother, or it might even be me, but – I think it’s mad to think he’ll stay in that house until he’s seventeen. Especially with all the time he’s spent with your family – and even mine. I mean, your family is way more – the sort of thing he needs, but – my family is very  _ normal, _ and – you should’ve seen the way he reacted when he came over for the first time.”

“You really think he’s gay?”

“I’m sure of it,” Isaac said. “How’d he react when you said he was straight?”

Max shrugged. “He got – weird. Didn’t confirm it, didn’t say anything. And – he stopped me telling Gina he likes girls.”

“You think he’d do that if he  _ were _ straight?”

Max sighed. “He wouldn’t, would he?”

“Don’t think so.”

Max remembered, then, what Reg had said when Max had suggested he tell Max’s parents about girls he fancied. “He said he didn’t fancy any girls.”

Isaac sighed. “And you  _ still _ think he’s straight? That’s – as good as admitting it.”

“Should I ask him?” Max asked. “I mean, I think if someone were to have asked me – well, it’d have depended on who, but he knows  _ I’m _ gay…”

“I – I wouldn’t. You know how touchy he can get over – things we’d have never even thought of. I’ve just been trying to make it clear that it’s totally fine by me if he is. Which – obviously, I  _ know _ he is, but doing – little things to show my support, like not letting him read that fucking horrible letter his father sent.”

“I didn’t finish it,” Max said. “I didn’t think I could.”

“It made  _ me _ feel sick. He referred to Sirius through the whole thing as ‘your degenerate brother’.”

_ “Degenerate?” _ Max asked. “God, no wonder he looked like he was about to have a panic attack.”

“Maybe we should go over to yours, now?” Isaac asked. “Now that we’ve sorted out that Regulus is very much gay, and we have some sort of plan to help him?”

“Yeah,” Max said, sitting up. “We probably should. Who knows what Mum and Dad will do if they realise he’s been left alone. They might very well just up and adopt him.”

“Can’t have that,” Isaac said. “After all, it’d be a bit of a pain to fancy your brother, even if he is just adopted.”

Max pulled a face. “Don’t even joke about that, Isaac.”

**Author's Note:**

> come visit me on [tumblr](https://xslytherclawx.tumblr.com/) | [character guide](https://xslytherclawx.tumblr.com/chars)
> 
> * * *
> 
> Please feel free to join my [discord server](https://discord.gg/yb6bS3c)! It’s a general Harry Potter server, but I also thought it’d be nice to have a place to discuss Ravenclaw AU with y’all as well!


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